Parenting. It’s a beautiful thing but there isn’t a manual, clear cut way to do it or an easy way to master it. Plain and simple it’s tough. Especially if you’re a single parent. Parenting has so many layers and can often feel like an emotional roller coaster. It can bring feelings of anxiety, stress and loneliness. But it doesn’t always have to feel that way. With the right tools, support and guidance it can be a whole lot easier. It’s time to focus on easing that stress and create a healthy mindset so you can concentrate on being true to yourself, navigating your options then pouring your heart and soul into it all. 

Dealing with Fertility Anxiety

So many emotions go along with deciding to have a family and making the leap towards parenthood. Worry, nervousness, joy, excitement.  And yes, anxiety. Anxiety is one of those feelings and often one that takes over.  Understanding the link between fertility and anxiety is important as you move forward on your journey.

It’s no surprise that anxiety affects your body in many ways. From work, to socializing or home everyone deals with anxiety differently. Some keep their emotions bottled up inside, withdraw from those who love them or search for outlets to help them manage their emotions. No matter what category you fall into, knowing that anxiety is real and a feeling you shouldn’t feel shame about is essential in letting go and moving forward. When becoming pregnant or embarking on that path, you should make it a priority to put your mental health first and come to terms with your emotions, learning important strategies to cope with anxiety.

Being a single parent can also contribute to anxiety because you may feel alone, lost or overwhelmed. Again finding someone to lean on, someone to help you work through your anxiety and realizing it’s completely normal to feel this way is a step in the right direction. 

Infertility itself is stressful so anyway you can ease those worries will help calm your mind and body. Therefore, with fingers crossed, increasing your chances of conception and a healthy pregnancy. 

Some tips to try-

• Own your feelings and accept them- Sometimes just knowing it’s “ok” is all it takes. Every emotion you have is acceptable and yours. Don’t feel shame, acknowledge what your mind and body are telling you.

• Seek support from someone who knows and cares- Reaching out to someone such as a therapist can give you a different perspective and be just the support you need.

• Create healthy habits- The best thing you can do for yourself during fertility treatment, pregnancy or after is maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eating right, exercising and giving yourself a break every now and then is important. Trying different calming techniques such as meditation or yoga can also help.

Knowing Your Options

Now that you’ve decided to embark on the single parent journey, it’s important to know your options. Knowledge is power and the more you know, the better. Single parenthood is not that uncommon and the options to help you become a parent are vast. All you have to do is take the time to learn about what’ll suit you best.

The first step in doing so, is checking out your insurance. Not all insurance plans cover fertility treatment and depending on your financial situation, you may have to shop around or save for your treatment. Once you’ve talked to your insurance company, it’s time to move forward. 

Schedule an appointment. Hopefully you have an honest and trusting relationship with your primary care doctor, so he or she can guide you in the right direction. Find a fertility specialist or doctor that meets your needs, comes highly recommended and makes you feel comfortable. Remember it’s not a one-stop shop. Take your time, do your research and select a doctor you feel will be there for you. 

Once you’ve met with your doctor, you’ll work together as a team examining your situation, and then determining what the next “best step” is.  A customized plan, just for you.

You Don’t Have to Feel Alone

Infertility in itself can make you feel alone. But when you’re also a single parent those feelings and emotions increase tenfold. And it doesn’t matter why you’re a single parent, the opportunity for support is out there. Maybe you’ve prioritized your education or career all these years and can’t seem to find a partner to settle down with. That’s ok. Or, maybe you’ve decided to stay single but want a family to raise on your own. No matter your “why” you don’t have to feel alone. Support groups , fertility coaches (a bit more on that below) and therapists are out there waiting to provide support and guidance.

You’ve heard of therapists and support groups but what about fertility coaches? Actually sometimes therapists fall into that same category. Simply put, a fertility coach is a trained professional, that is there for you physically and emotionally. The job of a fertility coach is to provide guidance for each step of your journey and help you think clearly about your decisions. Navigating single parenthood and providing you with emotional support every step of the way. You should never second guess your decision to become a single parent. And a fertility coach can help validate that statement and assist in you believing in your journey. 

So what now? You’ve made the decision to become a parent and continue your fertility journey but are unsure how you’ll handle all that goes with it. Again you’re not alone in that thinking. Fertility treatments and single parenting can lead to isolation and make you feel as if maintaining relationships or being in social situations is too difficult to manage. But there is hope. Gaining the support of a therapist or connecting with those in similar situations can provide a place of comfort, safety and relief.

Support groups give the opportunity to-

• Share similar experiences

• Have a place to share stories, successes and questions or concerns

• Develop relationships that’ll support and comfort every step of the way

• Find help such as childcare when the time comes

Community is so important if you’re a single parent. Finding the right group fosters a healthier mindset and provides a sense of calm. No judgements allowed.

Just Breathe

Above all just breathe. Take this journey in stride and know that each step might feel challenging, but by following these simple tips along with following through with each you’ll not only welcome single parenthood with open arms but you’ll nail it.